


H O R N Y  J A I L

by SweetCheezus



Category: Cravity (Band)
Genre: Bad Flirting, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, I'm Bad At Tagging, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 19:02:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28730118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetCheezus/pseuds/SweetCheezus
Summary: "So what level of sexual frustration is it when you dream about masturbating?"Literally a group chat fic based on actual conversation between my friends and I. The title is the name of the actual group chat.
Kudos: 8





	1. Welcome to horny jail

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is actual conversation between myself and my friends with some changes, mostly names. 
> 
> Anyway, characters:
> 
> Serim- chaotic gay with onlyfans addiction  
> Allen- chaotic mom friend and Woobin's hype man  
> Woobin- chaotic bisexual and Allen's hype man  
> Taeyoung- resident virgin who refuses to stay around long enough to get roasted too 
> 
> Anyway on with the wtf

7:14 pm

Woobin: Y'all, I think I put my pants on backwards today

7:31 pm

Allen: If they fit are they really backwards

9:43 pm

Woobin: I mean, they're sweatpants so they'd fit unless I tried to wear them sideways

11:40 pm

Woobin: - sends selfie -  
Woobin: I feel fancy

12:12 am

Allen: You fucking fancy

12:22 am

Woobin: So what level of sexual frustration is it when you dream about masturbating?

Serim: The highest. 

Allen: I dream about sex even when I'm not frustrated 🤷 but also maybe just do it before you sleep lmao

Taeyoung: same

12:43 am

Woobin: So basically I'm even more sexually frustrated than the resident virgin?

Serim: You guys ever go to a restaurant and get RULL fuckin thirsty for the server?

Allen: How can he be frustrated if he doesn't know what it feels like? 🤔

Serim: I think it's because 1 he's hot and 2 he's feeding me.

Woobin: I once left a server my number with the tip

Taeyoung: 👍

Allen: No but I used to go to Chinese buffet with a friend who had a THING for Asians it was bad though

Woobin: And then when I went back, he remembered me

Allen: Kinda like Ruby here

Woobin: I never returned to that pizza hut

Allen: But did he call or did he just want your money

Serim: I also have a thing for himbos and some servers kinda give that vibe.

Woobin: He never called

Allen: Dude Wal-Mart sells vibrators now  
Allen: I'm js 

Woobin: Are you saying for me or for Serim?

Serim: Semi-automatic weapons and vibrators.

Allen: For everybody  
Allen: They are magic everyone should have several

Woobin: I had to throw away my favorite one because it got gross  
Woobin: IT WAS RECHARGEABLE

Serim: I'm picky when it comes to sex toys.  
Serim: Real ones, not so much. 👀

Woobin: So have you got that guy's semen that you bought yet?

Serim: Nah but I have faith

Serim: What's the legality of putting his sauce in cookies then feeding them to my guy friends?  
Serim: Asking for a friend. 👉👈

Woobin: I'm going with probably illegal

Allen: Def illegal   
Allen: Unless you have consent

Serim: Dang  
Serim: How many years would the sentence be? One or two years might just be a nice gaycation.

Woobin: Well I know based on Florida...  
Woobin: Wait, you're male so my information doesn't work

Serim: What are females putting in people's food?

Woobin: You can get laid at any security level  
Woobin: Oh I was just talking about your ability to get laid in jail/prison  
Woobin: Women can't get laid in county jail in Florida

Serim: Oh. Men find a way.  
Serim: Even if it's not allowed.

Woobin replied to Allen "Kinda like Ruby here": I'm not THAT into Asians  
Woobin: Just the hot ones

Allen: The girls at the buffet are kinda cute tbh

Woobin: Oh for real?  
Woobin: Do I need to visit to go to the buffet and see the cute girls?

Allen: Maybe

Woobin: Because I'm fuckin DOWN

Allen: Well there's covid

Woobin: True

Allen: But this also means they serve you personally  
Allen: Like carry your plate and put the food on it  
Allen: Honestly they make you feel like a fatass though 😂

Woobin: 👀


	2. On thrussys and riding bulls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Serim: If anyone ever calls it my thrussy I'm locking myself in the bathroom and calling 911."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A part two because WHY NOT
> 
> Characters:
> 
> Serim- chaotic gay with onlyfans addiction  
> Allen- chaotic mom friend and Woobin's best friend  
> Woobin- chaotic confused bisexual  
> Taeyoung- resident virgin; has no idea how to react to flirting  
> Jungmo: a bit of a wet blanket; has a crush on Woobin and thinks he's doing a good job of hiding it. He's not
> 
> H O R N Y J A I L is a group chat between Serim, Allen, Woobin, and Taeyoung
> 
> The Woobin Roast Channel has Jungmo added to the mix

****H O R N Y J A I L****

5:03 AM

Woobin:   
Woobin: @Park Serim

Serim: Halls, no!

10:19 AM

Allen: ...is that a real ad?

Woobin: idk

Serim: Yes. It is. lol

Taeyoung: uwu daddy use my thrussy

Serim: If anyone ever calls it my thrussy I'm locking myself in the bathroom and calling 911.

Taeyoung: okay fine, daddy use my throat pussy uwu

Serim: Oh dear.

Woobin replied to Taeyoung "uwu daddy use my thrussy": I feel like the phrase "daddy come in my thrussy" would be best here

Serim: Yes daddy, shove a curling iron down my thrussy. uwu ~💖

Woobin: There's curling irons that look like vibrators and it's fucking DISTURBING

Taeyoung: Ruby cum in my thrussy

Woobin: 😉 you know it

Serim: Heating dildos scare me.

Taeyoung: neat!

Woobin: Sometimes I look at the exceptionally dildo shaped ones and have to tell myself that the risks outweigh any potential benefits  
Woobin: Because don't stick any odd materials in yourself children or it could be really bad

10:11 PM

Woobin: Do I want to fast pass on Lost In Translation?

Allen: I haven't read it

Woobin: This isn't a question that you need knowledge for  
Woobin: But you should it's really good

****The Woobin Roast Channel****

11:25 PM

Woobin: If this dyes my hair even half as well as it stains my skin, then I'm doing pretty well

Woobin:   
Woobin: But I didn't romance Cullen  
Woobin: I RODE THE BULL

12:15 AM

Jungmo: You couldn't handle the Bull

Woobin: In dragon age I did

12:48 AM

Woobin: I like how my two WayV moods are Bad Alive and Love Talk/After Midnight  
Woobin: Bad Alive: "I'm fuckin baller"  
Love Talk/After Midnight: "Let's fuck"

1:35 AM

Woobin: Not the shade of blue I wanted but at this point it's close enough

3:25 AM

Woobin: Through research, I have decided that my top 3 favorite members of WayV are Xiaojun, Ten, and YangYang

Allen: -gif of a woman yelling "ten"-

Woobin: Ten has 3 modes: momther, chaotic, and sexual innuendo  
Woobin: I fuck with that

3:40 AM

Woobin: I'm watching this video for educational purposes  
Woobin: -clip of THAT PART of the WayV exercise video (if you know, you know)-  
Woobin: Also the chaos in the purple shirt is Ten

Woobin: Turns out his shirt is gray  
Woobin: Either way, chaotic blonde = Ten

4:24 AM

Woobin: 

7:30 AM

Jungmo: Hell yeah it is  
Jungmo: That happens a lot

****H O R N Y J A I L****

3:06 PM

Allen:   
Allen: 😂 here you go Ruby

Woobin: lol

4:55 PM

Woobin: If anyone thinks that I'm anything but ravenclaw wtf is wrong with you?

4:06 AM

Woobin: Level of confused bisexual: finding this attractive  
Woobin: 

Woobin: More confused bisexuality: Ten dressed as Alice  
Woobin:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may get more chapters, idk
> 
> Also, there's supposed to be a gif that I forgot to add but like, it's easier to edit the note than to add the gif


End file.
